


A Path to Redemption

by Pendragon2601



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Additional dinner scene, Additional tags may be added in the future, And rightly so in my opinion, Anger, Angst, Character Development, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gen, M/M, Maryse is also pissed at Robert, Maryse is worried about her future, More Malec/Maryse scenes are needed!, Rebelliousness, Spoilers for "What Lies Beneath", luke is a good man, maryse is a good mother
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-04-30 23:26:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14507766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pendragon2601/pseuds/Pendragon2601
Summary: Maryse has just learned the news that she will soon be exiled from Alicante and de-runed and she begins to worry about her future. What if she can't see her children again? Will they ever forgive her? How will she cope being a mundane with the knowledge of the existence of the Shadow World? All these questions sets her off on a path to figure out what she is going to do next.With additional scenes to the dinner at Magnus's place as well as an unexpected chat with an old friend.





	A Path to Redemption

**Author's Note:**

> I had this idea that I meant to put up weeks ago but since I've been busy at College I've not had the time. I've never written anything about Maryse before so I wanted to give myself a challenge and I ended up really enjoying trying to get into her psyche. The characters may be a little OOC but I tried to get them as close as possible to the canon of the show as I could. I've also mentioned a lot about Maryse's brother Max which I don't know a lot about but he kept coming up every time I tried thinking like Maryse. Please let me know if there is anything wrong in the canon to do with her brother. 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy this and hopefully I'll be back soon with another story completed. Just watch this space.

Maryse let out a shaky breath as she closed her bedroom door behind her. Her body slumped tiredly against the wood and she willed herself not to let the tears welling up in her eyes fall down her face.

This was it. Her world, as far as she knew it, was over.

Maryse knew that her trial wouldn’t end well before she went in. She had done too many despicable things during her time in the Circle, things that weighed on her more than she let on, and she knew that the Clave wouldn’t stand for it. Not when Inquisitor Herondale was baying for retribution. Not even Jia Penhallow could help her even though she was the Consul. Maryse had always quietly admired Jia’s resolve, even when they were children. When Jia made up her mind about something, there would be no point in trying to change her mind. It was why their families were such good friends, even after everything that had happened. But as Consul, and as a family friend, Jia was too close to her case and was forced to be silent or risk losing her job.

Maryse pressed her hand firmly against her chest as it clenched uncomfortably in panic. Every breath she tried to inhale to calm her nerves seemed to escape her. She couldn’t believe it. She was going to be stripped of her runes and exiled from Alicante. In just a few short days she will no longer be a Shadowhunter.

 _What am I going to do?_ She thought desperately. She had heard stories of other former Shadowhunters being stripped of their runes, heard of how painful the procedure was to remove each and every rune that she had burned into her skin over the years. Everyone knew that being de-runed was the ultimate shame for a Shadowhunter and so the Clave made sure it was painful enough for you not to forget it.

Maryse pushed away from the door towards her dressing table and sat down before her mirror. She stared at her reflection quietly, her eyes lingering on the familiar deflect rune along the side of her throat. It was a popular rune for the whole Lightwood family with every generation sporting some variation of it over the years. It had become so familiar to her that it felt like another part of her, a part that she shared with all of her children. Maryse suddenly felt a tear fall down her cheek as she thought about her children. She wondered what they would think of her news. Would they be ashamed? Would they be worried about her? Would they try to protest her sentence? What if she was never allowed to see them again?

She thought of Jace and how he had lost so much already. She remembered when Jace had first arrived at the Institute from Alicante when he was a young boy, already so damaged from losing his father. Once she later learned the extent of Valentine’s twisted abuse throughout his childhood, Maryse wanted to shield him from as much harm as she could for the rest of her life.

She thought of her only daughter, Isabelle. From the moment she first held her in her arms Maryse knew that she would grow to become a strong, beautiful woman. Maryse had tried so hard to keep Isabelle out of trouble for her own sake and she knew that she had failed her over the years. Isabelle had also gone through so much, all on her own. Maryse couldn’t bear the thought of causing her to relapse.

She almost let out a sob when she thought of her youngest, Max. He was still so young, barely out of childhood and already being forced to live with only one parent. She remembered when she had talked to Robert about naming their youngest after her deceased brother. It was a traditional name in the Trueblood family, a name that was handed down through each generation over the years. She had hoped that by naming her son after her brother, she would be able to keep his memory alive.

And then there was Alec.

Maryse lightly wiped her cheek as she thought of her eldest son, whom she had let down the most. Her pregnancy with Alec was the turning point in her life, the point that she started to see the atrocities she was committing under Valentine’s command. She knew that at that point she had to get out, if not for herself then for the sake of her unborn child. How could she forget that Alec was the whole reason she was still here now, instead of being executed years ago like so many others in the Circle? And what did she give him in return? Years and years of rules and reprimand when she should have done more to understand him, to understand all her children.

Maryse suddenly startled at the sound of a knock at the door, hastily wiping her cheeks and checking her reflection. She watched as the door opened slowly behind her as Robert cautiously stepped into the room. She felt her shoulders tense and she narrowed her eyes at her former husband.

“I don’t want to hear it, Robert.” She seethed, focusing her attention on removing her make up.

“I’m sorry about your trial, Maryse.” Robert continued, his gaze full of remorse as he stared at her reflection in the mirror. “If there was anything I could have done to help-”

“Don’t start telling me that you’re sorry now, Robert. We both know that’s not the truth.” Maryse scoffed with a roll of her eyes.

Robert sighed. “Please don’t be like that, Maryse. Just because I’m not in love with you anymore, it doesn’t mean I don’t still care about you. You’re the mother to my children-”

“You never thought of them when you jumped into bed with _her_.” Maryse snapped, feeling her blood boiling beneath her skin at the thought of Robert’s new lover. She didn’t know for sure who the other woman was, but she had her suspicions.

“I’m not doing this again, Maryse.” Robert groaned.

Maryse shifted around in her chair to face Robert, her gaze narrowed into angry glares at his face. “Look, I don’t care that you intentionally hurt me with your affair. But how could you do that to our children?”

Robert shook his head and straightened his stance in defence. “I am not the only one to blame for hurting our children. That was just as much your fault as it is mine. We both let them down.”

“At least I am trying to make amends with them. What have you done?” Maryse fumed, hearing her voice rising with every passing second.

Robert pressed his fingers against the bridge of his nose in frustration. “I’m trying my best! But with everything at work and now the re-trials-”

“Oh, of course there’s another excuse.” Maryse laughed mirthlessly, turning back around with a shake of her head. She could feel her eyes beginning to well up with tears once again. “You know what? I’ve had enough. Leave me in peace, Robert.” 

“No.” Robert replied firmly shaking his head in his reflection in the mirror. “Maryse, we need to talk about Max.”

“Not now, Robert, please.” Maryse shook her head and held her breath in an attempt to hold back her tears. “Can you not give me just a moment to get my head around this?”

“I’m afraid I can’t, Maryse. We need to do right by Max. We can’t let this disrupt his training when he is doing so well after his accident.” Robert said as gently as he could, walking over to sit on the end of Maryse’s bed. She could feel his gaze fixed on her. “I propose that he comes with me to the L.A. Institute to continue his training with the Blackthorn family.”

Maryse closed her eyes as a sob crept up her throat. “So you’ll get to see him all the time then. What about me? He’s my son, too.”

Robert let out a slow breath. “I know this isn’t going to be easy. Your sentence said that you were exiled from Alicante. Perhaps we can arrange for you to still see him under supervision from the Clave.”

“ _Under supervision_...?” Maryse sneered. “By the Angel, he’s my child. What do they think I’ll do to him? Turn him against the Clave?”

“I think that’s exactly what they think you’ll do.”

Maryse silently rested her head in her hands, discreetly covering up her tears. She was in such a mess. She had given the Clave over twenty years of loyalty and they still didn’t trust her. But there was nothing she could do. She knew deep down that their sentence was right and considering the extent of everything she has done, her punishment fit her actions. But a small part of her, the same small part that she embraced when she was in the Circle, still thought otherwise.

She took in a deep breath and schooled her face, wiping her eyes before she turned to Robert with a firm look. “Okay. We’ll make the arrangements closer to the time. But I want you to promise me Robert that you will properly look after Max.”

“Of course I will, Maryse.”

“I’m serious, Robert. One wrong move and I swear on the Angel, I will find you and I will make it my life’s purpose to make you regret it. You put Max first for once in your life.”  

“Always,” Robert nodded gravely. “I promise I won’t let him down.”

“And you make more of an effort with Jace, Alec and Isabelle. Promise me.”

Robert nodded. He slowly reached out and gently squeezed her hand in comfort. Maryse looked down at their hands wishing that she felt something other than hurt. Perhaps there was a time when she felt butterflies whenever they touched, but that was a long, long time ago. It was funny how things changed so much in such a short space of time.

After a moment of quiet, Robert patted her hand and left her to herself. Now that they had said everything they needed to for now, they had no need to stay in each other’s company. Maryse sighed in relief when the door finally shut behind her. She stared at her reflection once again as her thoughts strayed back to her children. She needed to tell them her news, regardless of her conflicted feelings about it. They needed to know.

She picked up her stele and a stray piece of paper and began writing a letter to Alec. He would most likely be easier to contact than the others. She wrote that she would drop by and that she needed to see all of them together. There was no need to warn them beforehand. They would probably just get worried. When she was done, she scribed an elaborate heat rune at the bottom of the page and watched as it disappeared in a flash of light.

A sudden thought appeared in her mind that made her smile. Ever since she was a young girl, she had been told to behave respectably at all times or risk her family’s reputation and as a result she had developed a potent rebellious streak that she often found difficult to suppress. But now, she realised that she didn’t exactly have much of a reputation to salvage. If she only had a few days left of being a Shadowhunter, she might as well have some fun with it. She stood up from her dressing table and made her way downstairs to the living room where she knew Robert liked to keep an extensive liquor cabinet for times when he was stuck here in Idris. She figured that since their divorce wasn't finalised yet, she had just as much rights to the alcohol in the cabinet as he did.

With a wide grin, she poured out a glass of whiskey and swallowed it whole with a small grimace. She poured another with a chuckle. She couldn’t remember the last time that she let herself get completely drunk, but she was determined to remedy that as soon as possible. She could deal with the rest of her problems tomorrow when she was suffering with her impending hangover. She suddenly caught sight of her long hair in the cabinet windows and touched the ends of it in thought, idly imagining how it would look if she cut it short. She smiled.

* * *

Maryse could still feel the smile on her face as she closed the door to Magnus Bane’s apartment behind her. She found it hard to believe that only a few hours ago she had been stood exactly where she was now, feeling completely sick with nerves at the thought of having dinner with her son and his boyfriend.

It was no secret that before tonight, Maryse didn’t exactly have a high opinion of Magnus – at least not one that was positive. She’d read the Clave’s file on the notorious High Warlock of Brooklyn and she had seen the numerous reports of his quite shocking exploits that had been passed down over the centuries. She even read the absurdly lengthy list of his known associates, both living and deceased, and blushed at seeing most of the names on the list were his past lovers. Was it really that surprising that she had been opposed to the idea of someone like Magnus, someone with all that history, being in an intimate relationship with her first-born son? There was nothing she could do about Jace’s and Isabelle’s romantic relationships. They had kept their love lives private from her until Maryse went out of her way to discover them herself. But with Alec it was different. He had never shown any interest in romance, always looking to better himself as a soldier or working hard to be dependable by herself and the Clave. Maryse never dreamed that he would fall in love with a Downworlder, let alone another man.

But after tonight’s dinner, she will quite happily say to anyone that she was proven wrong. She had been discreetly watching Magnus’s every move the whole evening, looking for any sign that what the Clave said about him was true but in reality he turned out to be the exact opposite. Everything she thought about him was wrong, and with that knowledge she had to apologise. Shortly after the dinner was over, Maryse had asked Alec if she could have a moment in private to talk to Magnus. She remembered seeing the reluctant look on his face as he glanced between her and his boyfriend, silently debating whether it was a good idea, before nodding and disappearing into another room.

“I wanted to have a moment alone to talk with you Magnus.” Maryse said as she sat down next to Magnus on his stylish sofa. Magnus nodded to Maryse and painted on a pleasant smile, despite the wary look hidden in his eyes. She reached out and hesitantly touched his hand in comfort before she continued. “I wanted to apologise for any offence I caused you before now. It was wrong of me and I am so ashamed of how I behaved towards you.”

Magnus blinked in surprise. “Oh, um. Well, thank you, Maryse. That means a lot.”

“I know that we got off on the wrong foot and I know that we still have a long way to go, but for Alec’s sake I really want us to get along at least.” Maryse continued, feeling as if a weight was slowly being lifted off with every word she said. “His happiness means more to me than anything in the world and I don’t want to ruin that by disliking you.”

“I understand. I want Alexander to be happy, too.” Magnus said, moving to hold Maryse’s hand in between both of his own. “Being in love with your son is the best thing that has ever happened to me in a very, very long time and I don’t ever want to lose that again.”

Maryse suddenly felt her heart swell with joy at the thought and almost brought a tear to her eye. Before she could open her mouth to say more she noticed Alec hesitantly poke his head into the room. “Is everything okay in here? It’s too quiet so I thought I’d best come and check.”

“Everything’s fine, Alec.” Maryse replied with a smile as she watched Alec sigh with relief as he perched on the arm of the sofa next to Magnus and reach out to touch Magnus’s arm. She then felt Magnus let go of her hand to lovingly hold onto Alec’s hand. “We’ve come to an understanding, Magnus and I.”

“Is that good?” Alec asked with a wary glance at Magnus.

“It’s very good, Alexander.” Magnus nodded before he raised Alec’s hand and pressed a chaste kiss to his knuckles. Maryse watched in awe as Alec’s face seemed to explode with a blush as he failed to stop the grin appearing on his face.

It had been many years since she had last seen her son so carefree. It had been longer since she had last seen him smile so widely too. Maryse remembered when she had once felt like that with Robert back in Barcelona when he proposed to her. She wondered if she would ever feel something like that again.      

Maryse sighed as she idly walked through the dimly lit streets of Brooklyn.  When she was first posted to New York, she didn’t know a thing about the city. It felt like she had been uprooted and dropped in the middle of nowhere, where everyone seemed to be speaking a different language and had strange customs like staying awake long into the early hours of the morning. She was left alone, with only her children, Robert and Hodge for company. So, she made the best of it. She dove into her responsibilities as a mother and focused on fixing her reputation with the Clave.

Maryse suddenly let out a sigh as she found herself at a bus stop. She didn’t want to head back to the Institute right now. All she wanted to do at the moment was just sit quietly and wait to see if any inspiration struck her about what to do next. Maryse felt her nose scrunch up at the thought. She was always the type of person who always had a plan or rules to follow to keep her mind occupied and her hands busy. But now she wouldn’t even have that. Living as a Shadowhunter was a fast paced life, always on the move, always in flux and she had thrived in it her whole life. She couldn’t imagine what life as a mundane would be like.

Her mother had always told her that life as a mundane must be incredibly dull. Why else would they be called mundanes in the first place if not for that reason? All they did was eat, drink, sleep and watch “television”, whatever that was, and just amble about like ignorant sheep. No wonder so many of them ended up as Downworlders.

Maryse pulled her coat tighter around herself as a cold wind sent a shiver up her spine. Maybe she should head back to the Institute, even if its just for her own safety. The heavily trained soldier part of her knew that this was a sensible move. She was completely on her own after all and even though she was armed with a number of concealed seraph blades, she was also a little tipsy from all of the wine she drank at dinner. Not a good combination when she needed to keep her wits about her in case of a demon attack.

Maryse let out a resigned sigh as she continued her walk back to the Institute, her mind so deep in her own thoughts that she didn’t hear the sound of a car pulling up beside her and a window sliding down into the door. She didn’t even look up to see the familiar face of the driver until he called out her name. “Maryse!”

Maryse startled in alarm, her hands going to her blades in reflex as she followed the voice before letting out a loud sigh of relief at the sight of Lucian Graymark smiling at her from behind the wheel of his vehicle, the siren lights flashing blue and red as it came to a stop beside her on the sidewalk. She felt a small smile form on her face in surprise. “Lucian, what are you doing here? You nearly gave me a fright.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to catch you off guard.” Luke replied with an impish grin. “I thought you were still in Idris. Are you visiting family?”

“Yes. I’ve just come from having dinner with Alec and Magnus. It would have been with Isabelle and Jace as well but they were called onto a last minute mission, which I suppose I can’t blame them for prioritising. I’m just walking back to the Institute for the night.” Maryse shrugged her shoulders as she stepped closer to Luke. It had been a while since she had last seen Lucian Graymark. The last time they had met, Lucian hadn’t been altogether friendly towards her and she couldn’t blame him considering the way she behaved towards him in the past. And it wasn’t that long after Jocelyn’s funeral either so Maryse presumed that he was still mourning her loss, though Maryse knew from experience that grieving over the death of a loved one wasn’t exactly something you could get over quickly. There were times when Maryse still felt the hollow empty feeling she had felt when she first learned of her brother’s death decades ago.

“You’re walking back to the Institute on your own, at a time like this? No, hop in. I’ll give you a lift.” Luke gestured to the passenger door with a nod of his head.

Maryse fought the urge to roll her eyes. “I can handle myself, Lucian. I’ve defeated plenty of demons on my own before.” 

Luke chuckled. “Oh, I don’t doubt that. But with that Owl demon on the loose right now, it would ease my worry. Please?”

Maryse pursed her lips in thought before she gave in. “Alright fine, but on the condition that we don’t go to the Institute straight away. I don’t quite feel up to being stared at yet.”

“No problem. It’s the end of my shift anyway and I was just about to check in with my pack before heading home for the night.” Luke replied as Maryse let herself into the passenger side.

Once Maryse closed the door behind her she turned to Luke with an excited look. “This is quite new for me. It’s a little embarrassing, but I’ve never been in a car before.”

Luke watched Maryse’s face and couldn’t help but laugh at her infectious excitement. “It does take some getting used to. Although, a good starting point would be putting your seatbelt on.”

“My what?”

Luke let out a laugh as he reached over her shoulder and pulled her seatbelt across her body, fastening it with ease into the catch by her hip. Maryse flushed in embarrassment but watched in fascination as Luke checked his mirrors and gripped the wheel in front of him. A moment later, Maryse jolted in surprise as the car slowly pulled away from the sidewalk and into a lane of traffic. Maryse gripped her seat tightly as she stared at all the cars zooming past her window.

Luke glanced at her curiously. “Are you okay over there, Maryse? I can’t go any slower than the limit.”

“No, it’s fine. I’m okay. It’s just…” Maryse said as she turned to Luke with a grin. “I wish the wards in Idris could allow cars through the borders. This is amazing.”

“You know, I thought exactly the same the first time I got into a car.” Luke grinned. He lightly pressed his foot down on the accelerator and glanced at Maryse’s face as the car went faster down the road. He chuckled as he turned his attention back to the road. “I would put the sirens on, but I think that might be a bit much for your first time in a car.”

Maryse nodded in agreement. “Something to look forward to then. Hopefully.”

“Any time.” Luke replied.

Maryse slowly relaxed back into her seat and looked out her window.

It wasn’t long before they pulled up by the entrance of the Jade Wolf restaurant, but Maryse wished that the time had slowed down a bit for her to enjoy the car ride more. She relished in the thought of ticking off another mundane experience that the Clave wouldn’t approve of and decided to create a mental checklist of things to do now with her new unexpected freedom. The more ordinary the task, the better.

“I’ll be a couple of minutes if you want to wait in the car.” Luke said as he unbuckled his seatbelt and moved to get out of the car.

“Nonsense. I don’t mind coming in.” Maryse replied as she fiddled with her seatbelt. “I should probably have some coffee anyway. No, no, I’ve got it.” She added when she spotted Luke moving to help her with her seatbelt.

“Okay, if you’re sure.” Luke shrugged his shoulders as he came round to open her door, holding out his hand for her to take. She took it and let him lead her into the restaurant.

Maryse could almost physically feel the atmosphere disappear in the room as the door shut behind her with a small clunk. She surveyed the area, catching the looks of every wolf in the restaurant that turned to stare at her with varying degrees of suspicion and outright hatred, and held her head high as Luke led her to a spare booth in a corner of the restaurant that looked cleaner than most.

Maryse curiously stared at her surroundings as she waited for Luke to join her. She thought that it was an odd place to associate with Luke. He had always seemed like the type of person to open up a bookshop or move to live on a farm in the countryside. But then she realised that the Lucian she remembered was from a long, long time ago. It was so long ago that she could still remember the runes on his skin fading when he became a werewolf. He adapted into this whole new person that went by Luke now but he still had all of those kind, thoughtful qualities that she remembered.

Perhaps there was still hope for herself.

She was brought out of her thoughts when Luke slid a steaming cup of coffee across the table into her hands as he sat down in the seat opposite her. Maryse smiled gratefully at him and took a small sip. They stayed in a companionable silence for what felt like forever, just quietly taking in the changes of the other from over the years.

A sudden crease appeared on Luke’s as he caught a sad look flit across her eyes. It was only for a moment, but with his keen sight he was able to catch it in time.

“Are you sure you’re okay Maryse? I’ve noticed that you’ve been zoning out a lot.” Luke asked gently. “Do you want to talk?”

Maryse sighed. “I’ve just realised that I’ve been such a horrible friend to you. All those things I said to you when you were turned…I feel so ashamed of myself to have said them.”

“It’s all in the past. We were different people back then and I’ve moved on.”

“I know, but that makes it worse. I just feel so terrible.” Maryse stared down at her coffee cup and shook her head. “My brother would be ashamed of me too. It’s what I deserve though.”

“Maryse, you’re not making any sense. What are you talking about?”

“I’m to be exiled from Alicante, Lucian, for my crimes in the Circle. I’m going to be stripped of my runes in just a few days and there’s nothing I can do about it.” Maryse replied with a slow shrug. Luke softened his gaze and reached out to gently squeeze her hand in comfort.

“I’m sorry to hear that. I know how much being a Shadowhunter means to you.”

Maryse felt her eyes start to well up for what felt the hundredth time in the last forty-eight hours since her trial, but she stubborn pushed down that feeling. She was fed up of crying all the time. “I’ve faced countless demons all on my own with nothing except a seraph blade as backup. I can count the amount of times I have almost died in battle on one hand and still survived each time. I have endured the horrific pain of childbirth _three times_ and survived every time. Not once  in all that time was I ever scared.” Maryse felt her breath catch in her throat for a second before she continued on. “But the thought of being de-runed? I’m absolutely terrified.”

“You’re a strong woman Maryse. If anyone can get through it, you can.”

“I don’t feel strong right now. I feel like my whole life, everything I’ve worked so hard to achieve, is just crashing down on me and I can barely breathe because of the weight of it.”

“Well, of course it is.” Luke replied with a nod of understanding. “We’ve grown up with this important holy mission being drummed into our identities since the day we were born. It’s our only purpose for existing in the first place. And now, the Clave is just snatching that purpose away and leaves us to pick up the pieces.”

“How did you do it? How did you cope so well with transitioning into a mundane life still knowing that the Shadow World existed?” She asked. It was a question that had been plaguing her thoughts more and more since her trial.

“I’m not going to lie. It was hard. There were times when I honestly felt like there was no point in going on.” Luke sighed. “But then I found Jocelyn here in New York and then I found Clary, and suddenly I found a new purpose. I could be a father figure to Clary, and Simon too, and I could be there for Jocelyn whenever she needed me. They kept me safe. They gave me hope that things could get better. That they _would_ get better.”

“But what if I can’t find a new purpose?”

“You will, Maryse. It may just take some time. But you will get there Maryse, I promise you.” Luke fixed her with a firm stare, silently imploring with his eyes that what he was saying, he wholeheartedly believed was the truth. “In the meantime, if you ever need someone to talk to, you let me know. People like us have to stick together.”

Maryse felt herself smile quietly as Luke gave her a mischievous grin. It was the kind of smile that made her belly squirm with mischievous fluttering butterflies, the kind that she had not felt since before she married Robert. It was the kind of smile that gave her a glimmer of hopeful potential possibilities all waiting for her to take a chance.

Perhaps she would find a new purpose and maybe, just maybe, she would have a chance to make her children proud.


End file.
